Prodigal, you've nailed it. I trust you are/married to an alcoholic? What's the end result?
I gave up trying to hide, water down, badger my husband about his drinking.
Same with stuff like "why doesn't he call me?" "Why doesn't he care?" "Why doesn't he want to make love with me?" He DOESN'T. Nothing I do can change that. It took me a long time to figure out.
The trick is to move on and rebuild your own life. That's the hardest. It's hard to walk away from the person who shared your life...a person you love and care about. My husband was my best friend but only now am I realizing that man is gone. It's really hard.