vivea

Prodigal...you're right and that is what i realized after the separation.It is a Poison ,i was poisoning myself....but in the last year he recognized his problem ,he wrote me countless letters apologizing and promising to never do it again...i had no choice but to see if he is telling the truth.
Now having said that all the lies i've found out about were not a product of me sniffing around his stuff....things would just hit me out of nowhere,things would not add up...people were telling me stuff .
He is not that good at hiding it and i'm a good detective by nature ...what i was supposed to do with the info...pretend that it didn't happen...impossible.
Now he finally went to see a serious help about that,he says it's hard but as I said he is trying. If we ever get back together i do not plan to stay in that dark place of not trusting ....exactly as you said it doesn't do good for me.I will try to focus on other productive things and hope for the best.I know about his problem and i have to deal with it if i choose to stay with him,i can not spend the rest of my life with him constantly being suspicious about everything.

As I have said i'm relieved i don't have an access to his Email acct. anymore,I feel more free.In the dark but free!