paramore

I want to do counseling, he is hesitant. We know all of the underlying issues as we have been discussing them all morning. I have contacted a couple and then cancelled appts because what's the point if we dont go. I know I we both need to go separately as well. I can't even leave the yard right now to go see anyone as we got a gigantic snowstorm lol.

I just don't know if I ask him to leave, or what. Financially, he can't really go anywhere else, and we only have 1 working vehicle between us at the moment. I am still working on finding her guys number. I just don't know what else do do right now in this moment. I have cried and cried and cried, and he is taking a short nap as I woke him up quite early this morning with the phone. He is afraid that going full force back into rebuilding, that we will eventually fall back into the same patterns.

I have personally made large strides as a person, and as a wife that he is afraid are temporary, because I want him back. I understand that stance, and lord knows I am afraid for that too. But I know I have it within myself to not allow it to happen, the things that have happened in our past are too psyche shattering to even consider going there again. I am trying to get him to understand that what's in the past is in the past, all you can do is learn and move forward, (with the exception of this new discovery) I am going to deal with this the best I know how.