Quote:
Originally Posted by MEM11363  MNG,
Turns out that CALM is WAY WAY WAY more effective than anger. Anger means "ILY and need you and can't believe you are doing that".
Instead calm, and firm. Whatever you do, make sure you have a legal basis. For example I don't think legally you CAN move her out. So don't try UNLESS a lawyer tells you that you are on rock solid ground. Just be matter of fact.
Actually if it was me, I would say "Anything I can do to help you get a job, review your resume, etc. let me know". This is you showing total indifference. It will frighten her more than you can imagine.
AND do NOT talk about how you are right and she is wrong. She knows that already. Talking is just you trying to "prove" your case. You have nothing to prove. You are the injured party - but don't even say THAT if you can avoid it. Just stay focused on her plans to move out, and your desire to help her. My guess is you have more than a 50-50 shot if you play the indifference / constructive assistance game. |
Point of clarification: I wasn't counseling that he flip out on her. On the contrary, you shold be the picture of calm.
But one can be angry and still be calm. Calm is about action. Anger is about feeling. Your points about indifference are well taken, though. That's one reason why I suggested he be "unreasonable" -- because being reasonable leads to talking leads to concessions leads to her suckering him.
If I were you, pack her bags, have them waiting in the living room, and then you go sleep in the kids room. That way she'll not be able to sneak away with them . . . and when she asks if you want to talk, just say "no". She's said all that needed to be said. Calm, icy, indifferent. Nothing more to say to her.
