r.s.a.

Hi. I'm 27 and my husband is 31. We have been married for four years now. My husband and I love each other very much but we seem to be having the same argument always! He will go long periods of time without wanting to be intimate with me. I mean like six months+! I have tried every approach to this situation and nothing. He says he just doesn't think about it that much. But he has no problem "taking care of himself" so obviosly he does think about it. He swears he's not cheating, or gay. And everytime we have this argument it's the same reaction, violent like punching walls, but not me, and he says it makes him not want to with me when I'm bugging him all the time about it. So he promisses he'll make more of an effort and then we're fighting about again in a few more months. He keeps saying that sex isn't everything in a marriage. Am I just supposed to not want to have sex to make this marriage work!? I thought all men wanted sex? Please help!