Originally Posted by sisters359
You cannot change her; only she can do that. You CAN change you.
What I see in your post is stuff you DON'T do. That should be a given. The question is, what do you add to her life and happiness? Also, what did you expect when marrying a woman whose pattern is to get going when the going gets tough? What were your expectations, esp., why did you think her relationship with you would be different? If she didn't work through her issues before you, she brought them into the relationship. This does not mean it is hopeless, but it does suggest an uphill struggle ahead.
You can remind her that running does not solve anything, and causes a whole lot of trouble. You can encourage her to face the issues that have made running the choice in her and her family. Good luck!
I have been thinking about your question. I thought tha t Iwas giving everything tha tshe wanted and needed, a roof ove rher head, a father for her kids, stability, love, affection, kindness, compliments, physical contact, time alone, myself.....I guess I am still missing something......
Originally Posted by anx
I might find a different therapist for both. I really don't think this is normal. I think its stupid that he would say that.
You guys NEEDED MC when you were there the first time, and it was a big mistake to stop it then. Even if you can't get far in MC, stopping in when there is still a big rift is stupid. Making slow progress in MC while she is in IC is still a big improvement than no MC at all. I'm mad reading that he would do that.
Imagine my anger towards her therapist, but I kept it cool with her (yes her therapist is a she). She has already had a few visits with her under her belt by the time that I was invited to the picture for MC, so there, I feel, was the first issue.
The second issue for me was when iexpressed my concerns to her that she was my W's IC, and that she will ALREADY have her side of her story. Our three MC sessions were one-sided, working on me and not my W. On the third session, we were able to work on my W somewhat, but this was when the therapist decided to halt all MC sessions until further notice, which hasn't happened yet.
I did get a number for another MC which my brother-in-law had given me. I will try to get my wife and I scheduled.