what to do?
i recently seperated from my husband and started going trough the process of divorce: filed the paperwork, moved out, even started seeing someone else. it has been a lot of ups and downs. the days where my husband agreed to divorce and we could talk about it without shouting at each other were great. i felt happy and free. but those days were few and far between. to make a long drawn out story short, i broke up with the new guy, decided to give my husband another chance and moved back home. but now i don't know what to do, what to think, or how i even feel. my husband and i have been married 5 yrs and together for 8. i care for him deeply and feel like i spent most of our marriage making sure he was happy ok...so much so that i completely disregarded myself, my feelings, and what made me happy. now that i have moved home...he is trying so hard. we communicate much better now, and are going to marriage counseling. problem is...it isn't making a difference. i was so sure i wanted a divorce and felt so out of love with him that i am having a hard time finding those feelings. i love that he smiles at me now and that he is doing somewhat better. he used to tell me on a daily basis how miserable i was making him for leaving. basically, i now feel trapped. like how can i leave him now? he is a very emotional guy and is walking on egg shells that i will leave again...tells me everyday that he's so happy i am home. to make matters worse, i can't stop thinking about the guy i dated when we were seperated. help!
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