Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Life

blownaway · 03-05-2011, 03:26 PM

If you don't have any informal agreement with him re: child support/household expenses/day care expenses, etc., or you don't trust that he will stick to that agreement I would first and foremost see an attorney. Maybe you won't be able to finish school right now, but the fact that he left should not put you into financial dire straits. He still has children and responsibilities. He should not be able to leave and leave you to dip into your savings if that is not necessary. Again, changes may be on the horizon with having to sell a home or not being able to pay tuition and having to cut back on things, but blowing through a savings account and not knowing where the $$ is going to come from should not result from his decision to leave.

Aside from doing what you can legally to protect you and your kids, it's exactly as you said - one foot in front of the other. I found that friends and family were a god send, as is my counselor. If your health insurance will help with counseling, it's a good idea. It helps keep the emotions in tact, helps to understand how to cope and helps you to make good decisions for the kids. I think it's human nature to fly off the handle in these situations - I know I would love to beat the snot out of my WH - but the kids have to come first now and the feelings come before mine.

Good luck.

03-05-2011, 03:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
blownaway Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 173	Re: Life - 1 If you don't have any informal agreement with him re: child support/household expenses/day care expenses, etc., or you don't trust that he will stick to that agreement I would first and foremost see an attorney. Maybe you won't be able to finish school right now, but the fact that he left should not put you into financial dire straits. He still has children and responsibilities. He should not be able to leave and leave you to dip into your savings if that is not necessary. Again, changes may be on the horizon with having to sell a home or not being able to pay tuition and having to cut back on things, but blowing through a savings account and not knowing where the $$ is going to come from should not result from his decision to leave. Aside from doing what you can legally to protect you and your kids, it's exactly as you said - one foot in front of the other. I found that friends and family were a god send, as is my counselor. If your health insurance will help with counseling, it's a good idea. It helps keep the emotions in tact, helps to understand how to cope and helps you to make good decisions for the kids. I think it's human nature to fly off the handle in these situations - I know I would love to beat the snot out of my WH - but the kids have to come first now and the feelings come before mine. Good luck.