Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - 8yo's Boundaries, consequences, parents not undermining each other, #2

major misfit · 03-05-2011, 03:33 PM

I have my 10yo behave at home as he would in public, FOR THE MOST PART. I expect "please" and "thank you". I expect general table manners. For me, it's about creating habits, so you don't "slip up" when you're out somewhere. I'd like to think that I'm not over the top when it comes to manners, though. I'm not going to chastise him for, say...not having his napking in his lap. I'm going to ask him if he wants whatever he's eating to stain his clothes. (I know he doesn't like stained clothes, so that's how I get him on that one). It's not a case of "put your napkin on your lap!" kinda thing.

I DO think that the huffing and eye rolling was undermining dad, in spite of the previous discussion. How would you have reacted if HE had done those things? I find it disrespectful, as well.

My asking if dad was in need of correction too was a tongue-in-cheek question as to whether you're of the mindset that yours is the best way, and dad's is inferior. I guess tongue-in-cheek doesn't work on a message board. I'll be more up front next time. It's probably a really good thing that dad accepts your "way" as the best way.

03-05-2011, 03:33 PM	#8 (permalink)
major misfit Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 1,072	Re: 8yo's Boundaries, consequences, parents not undermining each other, #2 I have my 10yo behave at home as he would in public, FOR THE MOST PART. I expect "please" and "thank you". I expect general table manners. For me, it's about creating habits, so you don't "slip up" when you're out somewhere. I'd like to think that I'm not over the top when it comes to manners, though. I'm not going to chastise him for, say...not having his napking in his lap. I'm going to ask him if he wants whatever he's eating to stain his clothes. (I know he doesn't like stained clothes, so that's how I get him on that one). It's not a case of "put your napkin on your lap!" kinda thing. I DO think that the huffing and eye rolling was undermining dad, in spite of the previous discussion. How would you have reacted if HE had done those things? I find it disrespectful, as well. My asking if dad was in need of correction too was a tongue-in-cheek question as to whether you're of the mindset that yours is the best way, and dad's is inferior. I guess tongue-in-cheek doesn't work on a message board. I'll be more up front next time. It's probably a really good thing that dad accepts your "way" as the best way. __________________ The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. **Maya Angelou "But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve" **Professor Barnhardt to Klaatu