Well I have woken up this morning full of nervousness, and I hate it. I was laughing last night and now this! By the way, I wouldn't be just be jumping into a relationship when I am so hung up on my H, but I was given a self esteem boost, bearing in mind how my H has made me feel, the woman he left me for *shakes head* and then told ME that I hold MYSELF in too high regard..
But it has really made me think, do I REALLY want this man, a man that can trample all over me and not feel any guilt? Who continues to build me up and knock me down?
When there is another man who seemingly adores me.. Ok I may never get with 'C' but it has made me feel "Do you know what, I'm not all that bad, someone else thinks I am funny, pretty, intelligent, strong (He knows all the crap I am going through) he speaks so highly of my kids, so they are obviously not an issue (was always scared I wouldn't find anyone due to having 3 kids)
I still can't quite see myself with anyone else other than my H, but is that due to not knowing anything else.. having been with my H since I was 15? I mean HE could see HIMSELF with someone else, and quite frankly, that makes me sick... He doesn't deserve me does he?? Rather than giving in to his every whim, I should be saying, "Sorry, too much has happened now, you've hurt me, I am worth more than that"... I am feeling that this morning and I think thats why I feel nervous.. Not because I desperately want my life back, but because I am realising I AM worth more than this, I AM a good person and someone out there will treat me like the Princess Crank says I am
Vivea, thank you, when you're on later, I'll put my whole pic, then swap it back again.. make sure you have a sick bucket!
Crank- shuddapya face!
