Originally Posted by pmh
I was home alone, cleaning and had the tv on a channel that I was listening to/watching as I worked. He comes home, grabs the remote and changes the channel. No biggie, I got to another room and am watching tv. He comes in, asks why I am in there and I told him it was because I was watching something.
You need to work on your boundaries and how to stand up to him. That will require you to discover your own worth, though. He's not going to validate it for you. These fights get so ugly b/c there's a lot of unstated needs between the two of you being played out in passive aggressive ways.
For example, today my H and i were unpacking groceries. I wanted to give a rib bone to the dog and my H says, "We need to finish unpacking these first." Luckily we have both done boundary books together so when i looked at him and said calmly, "Hunny I can give this to the dog right now, if i want to." He can understand that any anger he feels is his problem, and i can understand that any anger he feels is his problem. i can do what i want to do without feeling resentful and bitter or responsible for his mood swings.
Start reading about boundaries and how to say "No" without it getting into a full blown fight. And do some self help books to gain some self worth. that will mellow out your fights, too.