Wats

Hello all,

I've been married for 21 years and my wife has said she wants to leave me. We have three children ages 20, 18, 17 and we both love them very much. We have been having problems for years and she just told me she had been meaning to leave me for a few years but she was afraid I'd take the children form her. This was devastating to me. She says she has been telling me there is a problem for years by such comments as 'I'm lonley', and 'I feel empty inside'. She had been taking a drug for depression for years but hasn't taken it for a few years now. She says she's been filling her empty spot with the children for so long and now that they're older she doesn't feel I can fill that spot. She says she's been done for a long time and there is no saving our marriage. I've done some very irresponsible things and I have been making changes but she refuses to see them. My most recent foolish act was buying a car that I'd always wanted after she quit her job. I have been feeling unloved and rejected for a long time and felt I needed something and thought that was it. We have been in financial crisis most of our married life. I want to save our marriage and she doesn't want to try. She won't see a counselor with me! She refuses. I told her I would go without her but really wanted her to re-consider. She never told me outright, 'Kevin, we are in trouble and we should seek help'. If she had, I'd have done so. I've been the supporter of the family since our marriage at nineteen years of age. and she's never held a job for longer than 2 years. She blames all our problems on me! I love her so much but she won't let me touch her now and says it's over. Please help!!