What if you both sat down somewhere to talk it through - maybe go to a restaurant or somewhere so that you have to sit and concentrate on the conversation and not be interrupted or no one gets to walk off, slam doors, or cry?
Could you each make a list of 3 things that you'd like the other to do - either in the bedroom or in general? It helps to have something concrete and specific. It would help if you could nail down exactly what you need from him, and vice versa.
There are some conversation rules that help when talking about something complicated and delicate like this: use a spoon (or other object) to take turns speaking so that the other doesn't interrupt - whoever has the spoon in hand has the turn to speak. Then also the other person starts with affirming what the other just said, like "I hear you saying that I have lost sexual interest in you." and then continue with how you feel. It helps to do those things so that each understands the other, etc.
Could you also go back and do those things that you did at first - those courtship things like planning and going on a date, love notes, flowers, etc...to spark the relationship? Maybe find out why you don't feel close?
I would definitely object to sleeping separately. That sounds hurtful and vindictive. It also separates you more than just sexually.
I probably shouldnt' be giving you suggestions, anyway! Lol! Most of the time I hate sex and only do it so that my husband will be kind to me the next day. Usually he's in a bad mood and very negative, always the dark thundercloud when he's around. So sex makes him a bit kinder the next day and it's worth it to me just for that. Sad. But my reality nonetheless. I wish I wanted it, but I don't feel attracted to him for the above reason. Hard to be intimate with someone who makes life so depressing and difficult.
But anyway, good luck to you! I hope you guys can talk and work it out.
