I think the "fog" actually starts when this happens:
Quote:
Originally Posted by F-102  But with an EA, the DS now has the toxic idea in their head that maybe they can do better than their spouse. Maybe the OM/OW can make them happier than the LS. And once that idea gets in their heads, they will never look at the LS in the same way again: the LS is now inadequate in their eyes, and they start to question everything about them-whether they are such a good person after all, whether they made a mistake by marrying them, whether they were really meant to be with someone else (usually the OM/OW)?" |
Until the DS is out of "the fog" they won't view the LS as the same. I think they can be reminded of how great their spouse is, but it has to be after ZERO contact with the OP. As long as they're in contact, there's no way can recovery start, IMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by F-102 But, JB, I think your "questionnaire" could be summed up with one question:
"Would you feel very embarrassed/ashamed/ or 'caught' if your partner suddenly appeared behind you when you were with the OM/OW?" |
ITA. 100%
