| | Re: 28 years of marriage What ca i do?
LVS, at issue is whether you stand more to gain (having your first opportunity to explain your side of the story to her) than to lose (not enforcing your personal boundaries against a person who betrayed your decades-long friendship without even asking for your side of the story). If you believe your STBexH got his BPD traits from his mother, the answer is easy.
If not, I suggest considering whether there is anything substantial to be gained by giving her your side of the story. In any event, there is absolutely no reason she should be allowed to dictate the date of the meeting. If you decide to meet her, delay it until after Thursday. If she is unwilling to delay it, it is clear that her only purpose is to influence the outcome of the hearing, not to hear what you have to say.
I wish you the best at the Thursday hearing!