Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

johntt · 12-04-2007, 05:41 PM

OK, see if you can get at this 1. Where to start, ok..we've been married 3 years. I'm American, she's Polish. We live in Poland. I'm Black she's White (a non issue between us seriously) So here's the gist. We used to fight and argue, like physically. Then that stopped completely, but there was always something lingering there. I made most of the money, she took care of the bills. Well, in the end she'd been feeling bad about the marriage, but I didn't know. 1 day I wa checking the bank account and asked her what was in it. She told me a much lower amount than I expected so I lost it and yelled at her. I said she was stupid for spending so much money and "we should get a divorce". So she said "OK". It hit me like a ton of bricks because I didn't mean it. Anyway, we've been seperated for 5 months. I went back to the U.S. but now I'm back in Poland trying to make it work because I do love here. I did some therapy while in the U.S. and still do it from a book that's worked very well so far. My thing is...after all this time I still love her and without question I want to have our marriage back, we see each other from time to time and talk quite a bit. How in the world do I get my feelings across to her. I can't tell her I love you everyday, because it'll show how needy I could be, then again I can't just sit here in this country forever and wait. I know I should have patience, but I've been back here for 3 months and I only have baby step progress to show for it. Anyone have any advice? And befor you call me an ass for getting into a physical fight with my wife...I already know.

12-04-2007, 05:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
johntt Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 1	Marriage Seperation OK, see if you can get at this 1. Where to start, ok..we've been married 3 years. I'm American, she's Polish. We live in Poland. I'm Black she's White (a non issue between us seriously) So here's the gist. We used to fight and argue, like physically. Then that stopped completely, but there was always something lingering there. I made most of the money, she took care of the bills. Well, in the end she'd been feeling bad about the marriage, but I didn't know. 1 day I wa checking the bank account and asked her what was in it. She told me a much lower amount than I expected so I lost it and yelled at her. I said she was stupid for spending so much money and "we should get a divorce". So she said "OK". It hit me like a ton of bricks because I didn't mean it. Anyway, we've been seperated for 5 months. I went back to the U.S. but now I'm back in Poland trying to make it work because I do love here. I did some therapy while in the U.S. and still do it from a book that's worked very well so far. My thing is...after all this time I still love her and without question I want to have our marriage back, we see each other from time to time and talk quite a bit. How in the world do I get my feelings across to her. I can't tell her I love you everyday, because it'll show how needy I could be, then again I can't just sit here in this country forever and wait. I know I should have patience, but I've been back here for 3 months and I only have baby step progress to show for it. Anyone have any advice? And befor you call me an ass for getting into a physical fight with my wife...I already know.