Quote:
Originally Posted by mary35 
For the men it is frustrating because often they feel like they are going to come, but then the feeling fades away. Your husband may keep trying because he may feel like he is on the edge ready to go over, but it just doesn't happen.
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Yes … this is often true with one suffering from
anorgasmia, you feel like all systems are go, then it all stops. Men may do anything from going numb, limp, or ejaculate without orgasm, or all three. It's really odd. If you read up on the process a man goes through to orgasm with ejaculation, you can see that there is a cascade of chemicals that must occur in a certain order, if there are ANY out of balance, things won't pop as expected. This can happen due to a variety of physical conditions, fatigue, and medications. When I read about the process, it's pretty amazing men ever ejaculate at all. They will likely never ejaculate if they think too much about what is happening, though
Quote:
Originally Posted by mary35
Take orgasms OFF the plate for awhile and learn to just enjoy the pleasuring.
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Yes. Yes. Yes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mary35
The more he relaxes and stops focusing on coming and instead focuses on enjoying what is happening at the moment, the more often he will be able to come. ... Give yourselves a time limit so it does not get to the frustrating point. The goal should only be to feel the pleasure of each moment.
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Time limit is a good idea. I used to HATE this with my new wife. I'd sit and stew. After a while, I found that if I just enjoyed the moment, there was a chance things might perk up relatively quickly. At any rate, it's much more fun to snuggle with an unclothed, loving, woman than roll over and pout. At least I prefer that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mary35
DO NOT make an issue of it in any way when he does not come. Keep re-assuring him that what is important to you is being with him and staying physically and emotionally connected. Tell him you enjoy any and all of the sex - with or with out the orgasms.
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Yes … the power of words are important. He's probably putting a bunch of pressure on himself, even if he doesn't show it. Added pressure from a partner to ejaculate is doomed to fail.
Everyone loves sports analogies:
As Yogi Berra once said "You can't think and bat."
And, as an aside: I used to like to prolong the time it took to make love because having an orgasm, while it was great, may tend to end things. It at very least, signals a transition. I REALLY enjoy the whole bit of foreplay, touching, kissing, etc. I realized this years ago when I noticed that my most erotic fantasies were often about the foreplay.
