I am known for my no nonsense approach to things and mainly that is because i think people need answers more than sympathy, so yet again I am going to stir the pot by slamming some cold hard truth on the boards.
As a rule of thumb, Women want men. Sure we live in the modern world of the metro-sexual and women are becoming more masculine by the hour, but at the end of the day they really want an assertive leader of a man.
As the men of today begin to act like they have spent a year in sensitivity training, the women are learning to assert themselves in a way that really defies their own nature. The movies portray an image of today's man as passive and unable to function as a leader. They glorify the strong independent woman who doesn't need a man to make it. Even the commercials today on television portray men as stupid, weak and dominated.
How many times have you seen ads where the man has to be educated by a woman on how to do basic things? The fact is that even though everything tells us that men are supposed to be idiots, we are not. And our women do not want weak idiots for husbands.
I have seen this so many times. Where the men in society have been beaten down so bad that it becomes OK for the wife to cheat. Where women are so empowered that they abuse their own self-confidence and destroy their moral compass and the result is a country where 1,000,000 more women a year cheat than men.
Growing up, I was told that men were the ones who did that more, and it was likely true. But as times changed, so did the facts.
Now i almost never suggest this book, but I will for you. It is called Love and Respect. I made my wife read it and she threw it across the room after chapter 2. But everything in it is what today's man needs to know about himself, and his wife.
As children of God we were made and designed to play certain roles. You are not playing your role and as a result your wife is playing your role. However, as the "Eve" to your "Adam", she is personally not capable of leading herself in a positive spiritual way.
Men are the leaders of their household. I am not talking about autocratic leadership, I am talking about leadership in a presidential way. You should consult, but you can veto.
Now the idea of "manning up" means that you fill your role as the moral, spiritual, financial and overall leader in your family. That does not mean that you create a codependent wife, that means that you provide the direction in your family. You are the pillar of righteousness and the force that guides her.
Men were not designed to be doormats, yet often times we become one to satisfy what we think society says we should be.
I have never heard a case where a woman cheated WITH a weak man. Although the loyals would like to imagine him as a pathetic person, often times they are assertive people who lead our wives and drive the direction of the relationship.
This is what they become attracted to. This is what they are missing from you.
When someone says to "man up" it almost sounds like an insult, like calling you a wussy boy. But in fact the message is much different. We are saying that you have failed to live up to your role as a leader.
Now I want to make this clear. You should never abuse your leadership role. You should not punish your wife and you should not lead her as a dictator. None the less you should lead her.
Before you do anything, You need to inform her that you understand how you have failed as a leader. Then let her know that you will be assuming that position as God has intended.
So in short... "Man Up" - and now you know exactly what I mean.
OK ladies, start disagreeing with me.