a-guy

Hello all, I'm new to this site and am hoping so much that it can answer some of my many questions.

My name is Joe and I am 26.

Alright, lets get some background on my current relationship.

I am dating a girl (23 yrs old) who I have known for a very long time. We started "fooling around" about 4 - 5 months ago for the first time. When we first started dating she made it clear that she didn't want anything serious and I sort of agreed. (A short while after we started hanging out I wanted more.)

Well, in the beginning all she did was act like a ***** basically. Flirting with everybody, not caring if she hurt me or not and just general disrespect.

Now on to more relevant things. During the time when she was acting like a ***** she wanted to go out to the bar with some work friends, one if which was a "ex-boyfriend". (She was fooling around with him and he is married with kids.) Well, while we were there she gets trashed and goes and sits down next to him. They whisper back and forth for a while and then I look under the table and notice she has her leg over his! And then she was rubbing his leg. I know she had said she didn't want anything serious but that was B.S. So, anyways I confronted her on that and she lied about it of course and I was mad about that for a long time.

Well, eventually she straightens out and says shes in love with me and wants to be with me. And everything goes great for the most part with no major issues. Until last night. She says her ex wanted to go hang out at the bar after work and wanted to know if we would come. (She works with him, hes the manager...) So, she asks me and I say "No, I really don't want to go." and she starts pouting about it, continually asking me to go. Eventually I give in. And she say's "If you want to leave, just say something and we will go." Okay...

We go.

We get there around 6 or so and start talking and drinking some beers and playing pool. Around 8:30 I say we should be leaving soon and she just glances at me, smiles and turns back towards the pool table. So, I'm just like "wtf was that?"...

So, whatever we stay longer. After a while I notice shes just slamming beers. I tell her she should slow down and I get the same glance / smile and nothing.... So, she of course, gets trashed. Not falling over trashed but good enough.

I ended up getting in a fight with a guy that was talking to her, not about talking to her, but he was trashed and told to leave and he started swearing about his jacket, I told him I would get his jacket and he was like "**** you". I said it back of course and he comes at me, I wrap him up in a headlock, its over.

After that big drama, I was like "let's go" and she said hold on. I said, no lets go now. I walk out and she grabs me and says something so I say "You got 30 seconds." I wait for about 2 minutes, she doesn't come out, I leave. Well, I drive to the stop light about 1/4 mile down the road and turn around. By the time I get back she was gone with her ex. She "got a ride home" from him. I sat at the bar for about 5 more minutes and then leave to go to her house. I try to call her the whole time, no answer. (she said her phone died so who knows. I guess it was dead, but at the time I didn't know.) Well... I get home and shes not frikkin there. About 5-10 minutes later she roll's up. (it takes about 20 minutes to get home from the bar. She leaves about 5 minutes before I actually leave town and comes back about 10 minutes after I do. And I think it's odd that she leaves in the 2-3 minutes I was gone. It's like she was just waiting for me to leave.)

I ask "what the hell took so long?" and she said he turned the wrong way. Well, how the hell does he go the wrong way when she's there telling him where to go? Anyways, she says nothing happened and I don't believe her at all. I don't trust her. She did too much crazy stuff in the beginning and lost that trust.

She has lied to me before about some pretty major stuff but not often. I love the girl to death but I can't handle all this crap. I get jealous easily but I don't usually say or do anything about it unless it really bothers me.I shouldn't have to deal with it all the time.

How should I deal with these kind of situations where I think she is doing something and just might be? Am I doing the right thing by confronting her whenever I see something I think is wrong? Please give me some advice other than "Just leave her". I get that from everyone else. :P

Thanks for any help.