04-15-2011, 10:51 AM
Join Date: Mar 2011
| | Re: Feeling pressured to get Married
Taking pressure from anybody leave alone your mother is the worst thing you should do as you consider your marriage partner. Marriage is a long term engagement that needs to be given a good consideration before making a commitment. Your decision will dictate the kind of a life you want to have in marriage.
Originally Posted by Zara
Hello all. Thanks for taking the time to view this post.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and half years and are ready to get married. My mom met him and his family for the first time last month in March. It was just a formal meeting. My mom has been tormenting me and just verbally abusing me about getting married to someone of her choice just because the guy she has in mind is finished with school, makes money and is much older. The reason for her acting this way is because my boyfriend is from Pakistan and I am Guyanese (West Indian, near the carribean islands) but we are both Muslims. Our culture is not any different really. Another thing is because she feels we are close in age. I'm 24 and he's 25. My boyfriend's parents are cool about everything and accept it but I don't know what the heck is her problem. I don't want my future life to be ruined and be arranged. There is no way in hell that is happening. I love my boyfriend to death and I am VERY VERY happy with him but my mother doesn't care about it all. All she cares about is money. My boyfriend and I have everything planned out and set and ready. I just feel like moving to New York and just get married secretly without her knowing. My father on the other hand is understanding and knows it's my life and I have to be the one to choose my life partner but she still doesn't get it. I'm stressed and just want to cry my heart out. Why does this have to be difficult? I don't know what to do with my mother?!? I'm even thinking about moving out. I haven't told my boyfriend because I don't want him to be stressed over it and think about it too much because it will be upsetting to hear my mother is looking for guys for me when I already have a great guy who treats me like a princess. I'm just sad and I really don't know what to do. I want to plan my dream wedding with my boyfriend and just be happy.
As you may well know, there are challenges encountered in all marital relationships. You are likely to be blaming the persons who forced or directed you to be married to a particular person. If you don't want to have a heap of regrets you better make your own informed decision.
Money is not a big deal as long as there is a will. And this is demonstrated by the fact that you love your boyfriend. There is more respect between spouses who make their wealth together than those who are attracted to the wealth of one partner. After all you can have all the money at your disposal and still live miserably.
Your marriage is yours alone and not for your mother. Let her care for her relationship with your dad. You need to stand your ground and concentrate on your plans with the boyfriend of your choice.