| | Re: It's the kind of pain
I am like Paramore. I'm sure there is a great future out there for me. After all, I am college educated, I am pretty, I am loyal and faithful. I am dedicated and devoted. I know that I am most guys dream girl. I'm not saying that to sound stuck on myself but I do believe most guys want a woman who will treat them like a King and I am that kind of woman. I treated my H like a king. I loved him and I cared for his needs. I did not have to. He never asked me or made do that. It was simply how I showed him love. And in return, I was cheated on. I was lied to. I was betrayed. I had my heart shattered into a million pieces. Still, this is the man who holds my heart. This is the man who I love and have such high hopes for. I know how he treats me. I know how he walks all over me. I know how he plays with my feelings. I know how he does not respect me. I know how he knows he can do what he wants because I will still be here. I know how little I mean to him. I know how mean he can get. Yet, I make excuses for him. I tell myself "it's just a phase" or "family is important" or "its for the kids" I do not know why I stay with him. I do not know why I fear so much just going and never looking back.