Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

spacedye · 04-21-2011, 06:05 AM

thx for the replys...
its not that they are asking me to choose between them, i just feel as tho after the divorce, which my ex divorced me BTW, they chose her instead of me. and it seems my rother has followed there lead as well. actually, my brothers wife, not my brother. my brother only does what his wife tells him to. seems he has no mind of his own. LOL.. but my parents, i feel, must be upset because my life is not going as they would have liked. so now, they wish to make my life more difficult.
i know that no good can come from what my parents(mother) is doing. my current wife has done nothing but be kind to them and has basicaly given them no reason to dislike her. except for whatever reasons they must have in their heads.
my parents are old school, fresh off the boat italians. im 1st gen american and my mother performed the same act when my uncle married his 2nd wife. my mom disliked my uncles 2nd wife with a passion. would not go over for holidays or call. just made life difficult for all involved.
i just dont see the reason for this behavior, nor can i see what good can come of it. she is only missing out on having a daughter in law. my mother does not approve of my brothers wife either BTW. or did i already say that?LOL!!!
i am just realizing that i really do not need this relationship with my parents any longer. it interferes with my happiness.
my wife refused an invite for her, myself, my (step)daughter and son to go to her uncles for easter. she thought to herself since there would not be any kids my sons age, he would not have fun so she declined.
now, my (step)daughter is going with her father for the greek easter(falls on the same day apparently...) while i have my son overnight (sat into sun) and then she thought i would bring my son to my parents for easter and she would not come.
but now i have to say no, that i am not going to bring my son over to my parents for easter because there was no invite for my wife and (step)daughter.
i feel i am doing the right thing and i thank you for your words and thoughts in this thread. i would appreciate any additional input. thanks.
BTW i put the word step in (step) because i consider her to be my daughter if i live with the both of them 24 hours a day. but i respect the boundaries and only "educate" rather than "yell at" or "reprimand" her. my wife treats my son as if it were her own, with boundaires as well. it works fine. but my mother does not and will not recognize this.
lastly, and thank god for this, my wifes parents accept me without any hesitation. from the moment they met me. they have become my parents more than my own parents.
i believe that my parents need to get on that Dr. Phil show for an wake up call.....

04-21-2011, 06:05 AM	#4 (permalink)
spacedye Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 3	Re: my parents and new wife thx for the replys... its not that they are asking me to choose between them, i just feel as tho after the divorce, which my ex divorced me BTW, they chose her instead of me. and it seems my rother has followed there lead as well. actually, my brothers wife, not my brother. my brother only does what his wife tells him to. seems he has no mind of his own. LOL.. but my parents, i feel, must be upset because my life is not going as they would have liked. so now, they wish to make my life more difficult. i know that no good can come from what my parents(mother) is doing. my current wife has done nothing but be kind to them and has basicaly given them no reason to dislike her. except for whatever reasons they must have in their heads. my parents are old school, fresh off the boat italians. im 1st gen american and my mother performed the same act when my uncle married his 2nd wife. my mom disliked my uncles 2nd wife with a passion. would not go over for holidays or call. just made life difficult for all involved. i just dont see the reason for this behavior, nor can i see what good can come of it. she is only missing out on having a daughter in law. my mother does not approve of my brothers wife either BTW. or did i already say that?LOL!!! i am just realizing that i really do not need this relationship with my parents any longer. it interferes with my happiness. my wife refused an invite for her, myself, my (step)daughter and son to go to her uncles for easter. she thought to herself since there would not be any kids my sons age, he would not have fun so she declined. now, my (step)daughter is going with her father for the greek easter(falls on the same day apparently...) while i have my son overnight (sat into sun) and then she thought i would bring my son to my parents for easter and she would not come. but now i have to say no, that i am not going to bring my son over to my parents for easter because there was no invite for my wife and (step)daughter. i feel i am doing the right thing and i thank you for your words and thoughts in this thread. i would appreciate any additional input. thanks. BTW i put the word step in (step) because i consider her to be my daughter if i live with the both of them 24 hours a day. but i respect the boundaries and only "educate" rather than "yell at" or "reprimand" her. my wife treats my son as if it were her own, with boundaires as well. it works fine. but my mother does not and will not recognize this. lastly, and thank god for this, my wifes parents accept me without any hesitation. from the moment they met me. they have become my parents more than my own parents. i believe that my parents need to get on that Dr. Phil show for an wake up call.....