sisters359

Bigamy, maybe he is gay, maybe he had a gf,(more likely maybe he's borderline or narcissitic)--"just a feeling" is a really crappy explanation. You may never get more than that, however, and you probably will NOT benefit from "being friends." If there are no children involved, tell him to keep the F*CK away from you b/c you don't want to be his friend--and mean it. Honestly, he's trying to assuage his guilt at YOUR expense. He has not had the balls to give you the truth ("a feeling" is bulls*it--what is he, the Oracle from Delphi?), and he thinks he can keep you from finding out if he plays the friend card. Such cowardice.

Please see that behind all his "sincerity" is nothing but a desire to hide the truth from you and protect his image of himself. He is not the man you thought he was and that you want to believe he is. There is probably a lot you actually don't know about him, and he's made sure to keep it that way.

So, let him know you've decided that he is a coward; he's hiding the truth; you think the truth is 1. an affair; 2., he's gay; 3. he is married to someone else; 4. he does not find you attractive; 5) he's whacko. Let him know that nothing else makes sense and you are aware his "feeling" is just bulls*it to hide something he doesn't want you to know and you think he is a worthless piece of crap and he needs to keep away from you and from contacting you or you will get a restraining order.

If he's actually a good guy, he'll say, "Ok, you're right; I lied. Here's what I didn't want you to know. . ." *you have about a 1% chance of getting that answer.

If he is the poseur his words make him out to be, he'll go all solemn and hurt and say something like, "Well, if that is how you want to think of me. . ." Say YES, it is, now go to H*LL. Be angry--because you should be. He's used you and hidden stuff from you. You were blindsided b/c he made sure YOU DIDN'T GET TO SEE THE TRUTH. If for no other reason than to puncture holes in this facade of himself he's trying to maintain, do NOT say anything reassuring to him or let him off the hook. Repeat, as needed, that he's a fake and a liar and you now realize it. Be sure to send an email requesting no further contact--not even 3rd party contact--so when he violates it, you can get the R.O.

And then--bc he wants you to think he is still oh, so wonderful--he'll contact you again. Get the R.O. Nothing will get him as much as knowing he cannot persuade you that he is really mister wonderful and it's sad, blah, blah, blah, that the two of you can't be together.

When it gets to the point of the R.O., maybe you will finally realize that it really IS all about him and he was 'way more messed up than you knew, and you'll be thanking your lucky stars you got off with nothing worse than a temporarily broken heart. You'll wonder how you could have been so blind, but don't be hard on yourself. Narcissists want the world to admire them, so he manipulated you. You'll just be better prepared to see the manipulation in the future.