Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

greenbaglady · 12-11-2007, 03:55 PM

I was going to add that my husband while we were dating had a problem with looking at porn a lot and a lot of what you said sounded like I did when he looked.
We broke up and got back together so many times while we dated all because of the porn thing with him.
I started to just get over it, friends told me that he'd "out grow it" or see that it's a waste of time and dumb and there are better things to do.
We dated for 4 years and got married--had a baby...One day I was using his computer and found some dirty pictures and websites he looked at that morning :-o This was about 6 months in to our marriage (we've been married 5 years--together for 9). I brought it up to him and told him to be honest with me or me and the baby were gone for good.
He was honest and said that he was in a funk--we were newly weds, new parents etc...he felt like he needed to look, it was relaxing or something (who knows with guys!) But for some reason this time it clicked with him. He actually broke down and cried and said he wouldn't do it, he didn't want us to leave him, and it was stupid and dumb and he felt like he betrayed ME (talk about turning the tables!)
I have since every once in a while checked on his computer to see if hes behaving and he is--I look deep in his surfing history and cache and he hasn't looked.
My husband even to this day when I ask him if he misses porn he says no, not at all, he says its such a loser thing to do and he's too busy to "play around" with that "garbage" lol!
If you really want to stay with him and you think maybe he'll straighten up, you could just sit down and talk to him tell him to be honest. Go find fun things to do together to keep things fresh like they use to be when you dated--the more your out with him doing things the less he'll be on the computer, after all.
I think its best for the kid to stay together--I like what someone else said about it being a little disturbing the porn and a child in the house, point that out to him and tell him how wrong that is. Maybe that'll pinch a nerve and really get him to REALIZE what he's doing is and does look really wrong! If it ever came down to sharing the child this porn addiction wont look good in court.
I wish you lots of Good luck!
I hope for your sake and your little one that your husband gets out of his little 'funk' that he's in and starts being a dad and a better husband.

12-11-2007, 03:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
greenbaglady Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 26	Re: What Next? I was going to add that my husband while we were dating had a problem with looking at porn a lot and a lot of what you said sounded like I did when he looked. We broke up and got back together so many times while we dated all because of the porn thing with him. I started to just get over it, friends told me that he'd "out grow it" or see that it's a waste of time and dumb and there are better things to do. We dated for 4 years and got married--had a baby...One day I was using his computer and found some dirty pictures and websites he looked at that morning :-o This was about 6 months in to our marriage (we've been married 5 years--together for 9). I brought it up to him and told him to be honest with me or me and the baby were gone for good. He was honest and said that he was in a funk--we were newly weds, new parents etc...he felt like he needed to look, it was relaxing or something (who knows with guys!) But for some reason this time it clicked with him. He actually broke down and cried and said he wouldn't do it, he didn't want us to leave him, and it was stupid and dumb and he felt like he betrayed ME (talk about turning the tables!) I have since every once in a while checked on his computer to see if hes behaving and he is--I look deep in his surfing history and cache and he hasn't looked. My husband even to this day when I ask him if he misses porn he says no, not at all, he says its such a loser thing to do and he's too busy to "play around" with that "garbage" lol! If you really want to stay with him and you think maybe he'll straighten up, you could just sit down and talk to him tell him to be honest. Go find fun things to do together to keep things fresh like they use to be when you dated--the more your out with him doing things the less he'll be on the computer, after all. I think its best for the kid to stay together--I like what someone else said about it being a little disturbing the porn and a child in the house, point that out to him and tell him how wrong that is. Maybe that'll pinch a nerve and really get him to REALIZE what he's doing is and does look really wrong! If it ever came down to sharing the child this porn addiction wont look good in court. I wish you lots of Good luck! I hope for your sake and your little one that your husband gets out of his little 'funk' that he's in and starts being a dad and a better husband.