Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Trying to post from my wifes point of view: Loss of best freind due to marriage issue
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Old 04-28-2011, 09:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
sisters359
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: SE Wisconsin
Posts: 2,459
Default Re: Trying to post from my wifes point of view: Loss of best freind due to marriage i

Of course she is grieving, and she will, for several months. That is normal after a loss like this--and if she values the marriage, she'll go through the grieving process, if only for that reason. She probably hasn't had a "broken heart" in a while, and that is basically what is going on, even if neither of you want to admit it; she fell for the guy--maybe not in the way a 16 year old would, but all the same, she turned to him. He was a sex partner and best friend--and even if it was sanctioned by the swinging, it is still an "affair of the heart" when it reaches that point. There won't be any going back b/c she needs to make a clean break. It is the only way. But SHE needs to make this decision, and by respecting your boundary, she needs to be making the decision for HERSELF. If she can't, then you might as well toss in the towel now b/c the counseling won't help; she'll continue to lean on him for support and she needs to be turning to you to get needs met right now.

Good luck.
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