| | Re: Why I doubt it's going to work out.
I applaud you trying to improve things, putting the effort into analyzing recent arguments.....
Your husband's sudden mood "flip" reminds me of my husband. Things are fine, I make some random comment, could be a good one or not, the point is, my comment DOES NOT MATTER, its a random opportunity for my husband to use it to start a fight.
I, like you dissected every conversation from every angle and tried a myriad of things to diffuse the situation. I made some progress but in the end I realized my efforts are/will be minimal.
I faced the fact my husband STARTS fights w/me, because he's in a bad mood, because....who knows. It finally hit home with me that it is simply too much work to get along with him if I have to dance around his moods forever. And - its eating at my happiness and self-esteem.
Perhaps it is not right for you, but for me, I threw in the towel on all of this analyzing and (finally) got right to the point.
You made a comment somewhere...about the idea of telling him you may both have made a mistake, not a condemnation of who did what wrong but a frank recognition of where you two are at right now.
Not using my words, but do you think that perhaps tossing all of this aside and having such a conversation with him might help? He sounds frustrated too....I wonder if maybe he is struggling with such thoughts as well, and neither of you wants to bring up the elephant in the room.
Wishing you well, Leah