Originally Posted by boxer
Once you get married to this woman, she will have *all* the power. Women know this. Rob's advice to "marry her and she'll change" is fatal. You think she's a pain now, wait until she merely has to pick up the phone and tell the police "I'm scared" to have you thrown into the street with nothing.
Cut your losses. Dump this loser and move on. If you must marry, hold out for one that is both sane and reasonable. Rational adults don't expect the world to change for them. This woman seems like she is an emotional infant and probably has serious mental problems.
Good luck brother.
I just had a conversation with my cubicle neighbor yesterday. He married a year ago, to a woman with 2 kids. A year ago, all he did (to his other friends in cubicle hearing distance; I didn't really know him) was talk about how wonderful she was, all she did for him, etc.
Fast forward to 4 months ago, I'm hearing "I'm so tired. I have to do all the housework. I want to go take the puppy out, but she doesn't want me to. The kids are acting like spoiled brats. Nobody ever does anything except me."
I'm thinking, he needs to man up!
Finally Friday, he starts talking about the housework. He does almost ALL of it! Her kids do nothing! And SHE is now saying things like "I'm just too tired when I get home..."
So I had enough, and I went and talked to him. Told him he needs to sit her down and tell her he won't accept this. He said maybe she's just tired. I said "no, what she has is 'I married a guy so I don't have to do anything any more-itis.'
That shook him up. What really shook him up was when I said 'if you don't change something now, you'll be divorced in 3 years.'
I told him to get a posterboard and write out all the things that had to be done to keep the family running. Told him to sit her down and say, 'we're going to take turns picking things we agree to be responsible for.' And MAKE her agree to be responsible.