My ex left me almost two months ago. She became increasingly disappointed with my lack of motivation and my reluctance towards pursing any goals I had set for myself. We were in a 7 year long relationship, and very happy until the last 6 months of it.
Early in our relationship, I had graduated with my Bachelors, and she was starting college (but with little direction). We were both heavier than we wanted to be, and tried to lose weight. We were poor, not happy with our own physical appearances, but otherwise we were very happy. Fast forward a couple of years, and my ex found her calling: nursing. She moved to eastern Washington (4 hours away from me) to live with her parents and go to nursing school. She was focused, started running and exercising, and succeeding with everything. She graduated with honors, and lost almost 50 pounds. Me, on the other hand, stayed the same weight, made no attempt to exercise, and kept pushing off my return to school to get my masters.
During the past 6 months, she became frustrated with my lack of progress, but kept her feelings to herself. Eventually she told me that she questioned her feelings for me, and wanted more out of me. She needed someone who was as driven as she was. Well, around this time my mom died and I lost my job. After trying couples counseling for a while, my ex decided to leave me. Mutual friends mentioned to me that my ex felt like she and I were on different paths and was having trouble seeing a future for us.
Losing my mom, then losing my love, was devastating. But I came to a realization: I've been holding myself back all these years, because I had no confidence in myself. I started to run and exercise 6 days a week (my mom's death gave me the push that I needed), and I've lost 15 pounds. I have a renewed sense of purpose and drive. I'm applying for grad school for this fall, and I'm starting to make plans for world travel. I've never felt more sure of myself in my whole life, and it was my body image that was holding me back.
I've made these life changes for me, not for her. But I feel like I'm becoming the man that she wants. I just don't know if it's enough for us to start off slow again. Has anyone pulled a 180 and used it to get their ex back? Has it backfired? I haven't known anyone to do this, so I'm looking to hear any stories that anyone may have. Thank you all.
Early in our relationship, I had graduated with my Bachelors, and she was starting college (but with little direction). We were both heavier than we wanted to be, and tried to lose weight. We were poor, not happy with our own physical appearances, but otherwise we were very happy. Fast forward a couple of years, and my ex found her calling: nursing. She moved to eastern Washington (4 hours away from me) to live with her parents and go to nursing school. She was focused, started running and exercising, and succeeding with everything. She graduated with honors, and lost almost 50 pounds. Me, on the other hand, stayed the same weight, made no attempt to exercise, and kept pushing off my return to school to get my masters.
During the past 6 months, she became frustrated with my lack of progress, but kept her feelings to herself. Eventually she told me that she questioned her feelings for me, and wanted more out of me. She needed someone who was as driven as she was. Well, around this time my mom died and I lost my job. After trying couples counseling for a while, my ex decided to leave me. Mutual friends mentioned to me that my ex felt like she and I were on different paths and was having trouble seeing a future for us.
Losing my mom, then losing my love, was devastating. But I came to a realization: I've been holding myself back all these years, because I had no confidence in myself. I started to run and exercise 6 days a week (my mom's death gave me the push that I needed), and I've lost 15 pounds. I have a renewed sense of purpose and drive. I'm applying for grad school for this fall, and I'm starting to make plans for world travel. I've never felt more sure of myself in my whole life, and it was my body image that was holding me back.
I've made these life changes for me, not for her. But I feel like I'm becoming the man that she wants. I just don't know if it's enough for us to start off slow again. Has anyone pulled a 180 and used it to get their ex back? Has it backfired? I haven't known anyone to do this, so I'm looking to hear any stories that anyone may have. Thank you all.