Originally Posted by surfergirl

Men and women's brains are wired differently so we process things differently.....we see/hear different meanings and importance in words.

I have learned that when asking a man to do something, my instruction needs to be direct and it also needs to include a timeline.

So instead of saying.....

"Honey, can you fix the leaky tap in the bathroom please?"....

I say....

"Honey, the tap in the bathroom is leaking, would you please fix it sometime today/ after you have finished doing what you are doing/ before you go out?"

That gives him a clear picture of what needs doing and when....it also gives him the opportunity to say no (if he can't fit it in) and opens up discussion of when he will do it. Deal sealed.

I never ask a second time, ever - if my man doesn't do what he said he will do, when he said he will do it, then I will either do it myself if I can or pay someone to do it. I don't get cranky or complain....I just get on with it.

There have only been two times that I actually had to do something myself after asking for the man's assistance - that was back in the early days when we were still learning how things worked with eachother.

He said that eventhough I didn't get cranky or do anything to make him feel bad....he felt guilty for not holding up his end of the deal.

So maybe something like that would work for you too.