What im leaving out. I was treated "inappropriately as a child". I cant bring myself to type it. I've not thought about it for many many years. im only 39. Back in the 70's there was no system for helping or catching these things. i never got any counseling. Sometimes i wonder if it all was just a dream, if it really happened or not. I did decide to give complete disclosure to my wife last night and give her as many details as i could remember, trying to put a name/face on my actions, but all I can get is an "i dont know". "I love you but i dont know." " i love you but my feeling have changed and i dont know if they can change back" and the anxeity is starting to paralize me. i had these feeling when we first started dating, this time its 1000% worse...
We still sleep in the same bed, but mentally and emotionally, we are on opposite sides of the planet and its tearing me apart. I told her i feel like a love struck teenager.
We just got another shocker, The funeral plan her gandmother had really didnt cover that much, so she put 3500 on her credit card. because here aunt and mother dont have credit cards or money. i told her ill pay it, i want to. She claims she's used to doing things by herself now anyways, but thats not true. She's only focusing on the negatives. We have had so so many good times, gone to a great many places and seen a great many things together. i mean if i were to try and put a good percentage on it vs bad, it be 98% good and 2% bad. In the past, we've sat and talked at length about things and she would tell me how happy she was and how lucky she felt, id also say the same, she'd lay her head in my lap. All of the things ppl do when they are in love, but still says this has been going on for years. She says she could never talk to me. thats not true. There were times when I just couldnt talk , but when we did. we'd work things through and we'd kiss and make up and i thought some things were behind us
when we 1st got married, i caught here emailing some guy, along with one of her best friend, and the emails got kind of racey. it really hurt me. We spoke alot about that and she immediately stopped. A few yars later, she started talking to a few of her male friends ,friends from high school. one was in jail and having health issues, so we were getting letters from a "correctional institue" and the other was starting a relationship and considering getting married, which he now is and has been for a while. that kinda fizzled out. About 24months ago, She gets a myspace account, and so did i, because of our daughter(kinda keeping tabs). We i start noticing her 'friends list growing" and i see an ocala name and Its a guy. my gears start turning. I logged on to her account, and they are emailing eachother daily, so one night i checked her cell phone and they were also texting and this guy was trying to set up a rendezvous. her reply was no im married, but my feelings were crushed all the same. its almost like feeling that youve fallen off of a cliff. last year, i start getting anonymous myspace messages saying things like your wife is a ***** and a family splitter,
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not nice to mess with a new family
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is your wife honest? have info will divulge upon request.....
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RE: not nice to mess with a new family
check her cell phone bills she call ryan alot hidden numbers; trips to Branden/Zephrhills for ''concerts'' ditch the kids and off for a screw fest. You own a construction buisness u must have a few brains. her kids are almost all grow up then she gets half - don't look like an ass she doesn't deserve it. telling my boyfriend all kinds of crap about what being pregnant was like - she ever have twins - no. so I was not able to have sex for several months - it was for the health of our babys - which are so healthy I should add.she needs to stop talking trash about people she never meet and leave taken men alone. go with your gut instinct you must now better.
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your wife is a ***** an i have proof!!!!
tell your nasty wife to leave my boyfriend alone!! why do you allow her to **** around on you? she should be working when she is at work not trying to hook up with nurses!!!!!
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We talked about that and she swears it was BS and backstabbing going on at her work
About 8 months ago, her lifelong friend decided to up and move out of state, and that upset her alot. then, about 6 weeks ago another of her best friends decided to up and leave her husband and 4(2 eight year old girls and 2 teen kids from both of their previous marriages) kids to go chase/live with a childhood crush. im not really sure how that affected her. Lately she's been texting alot and that kinda got my gears turning. She says her friend, the one that moved away, now moved back, following her boyfriend that left her in texas, and they dont have a phone and cant afford the minutes, so they text. well, the other night, we were texting eachother, bad move to try and text when hurting. i was itting outside in my car listening to music and she wanted me to come in, i asked her to come out and talk, we did. Anyways, that night I see here texting again, So late that night, i get her cell phone and go looking. The only text messages in it are from me. 8 from me in the inbox and 10 sent to me. EVERTHING else is deleted, even the trash/deleted folder is empty.
Well, I kinda lost it. I did my usual unable to communicate thing and left the room. that didnt work, so walked around the house and stuff, finally I got so fraustated, I went to my office and did paperwork. This is what pushed things over the edge she said. Add to this Christmas time, Here closest relatives painful death. I want to just sit and talk with her, and go through everyhting one at a time, but she cries and says "you want to do this right now?" and "im hurt and i dont know if i cant trust you" and "you've broken my heart". She tells me she has tried to talk to me on many ocassions and i just shut her out constantly and that action has devasted her. She cried in my arms last night..
Im in a frenzied state of panic,Im having severe anxiety attacks and starting to drink whiskey for breakfast and diner. having trouble working. im at work right now.......I dont know how to fix things. I have 100& of myself vested in this relationship. im so deeply inlove with her and cant believe thats things have gotten so out of hand.
Im having one or 2 ppl tell me that maybe she married me to help with her daughet and now that thats about done with, my usefulness has ended.
