Originally Posted by Halien
At least in my state, lack of sex is one of the most common issues listed. That doesn't take away the guilt, though. Maybe look at it this way: What did you and your husband intend when you exchanged marriage vows? What was your understanding of the covenant between you two? Did he say, "No, I don't want to meet your sexual needs?"
Not trying to be superficial or sarcastic, but just pointing out that he is more or less trying to enforce a new norm into the relationship. One that you would've never agreed to. And its a very basic need. You're not casting him aside by splitting.
Some will say that marriage is for better or for worse, but this is based upon the assumtion that the unmet needs are unintentional, in my opinion. There is a basic assumption that if you both can try, you should both try to meed each other's needs.
Honestly Halien, I kind of think he tricked me. When we were dating I wanted sex 2 times a day, minimum, not including oral. He would tell me no all the time. Before the wedding we had a sit down, I told him what I needed. He was all 'oh, I'm just nervous about the wedding' etc, but it never got better. I would be better if we had some really good sex along the way and this was just a down turn. I could deal with that. It isn't, there has been no UPturn.
He told me that he knows he can't be what I want, and he wants to be friends. Well, that is fine, but I want a husband, I have enough friends....