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Old 05-09-2011, 12:51 PM   #279 (permalink)
HurtinginTN
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: TN
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Default Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eli-Zor View Post
As part of the requirements for recovery she must tell you everything, answer any question you ask, you in turn must be a bedrock of strength and not lose it even if what she says hurts you. She must feel secure telling you the truth, during the one to one let her know that as part of the validation of the truth you will be arranging a polygraph, keep to that line, do not give her any timeframes , be loving, be humble and do not tell her what you are doing othan trying to save your marriage and family. ]
She was answering questions Friday night. I was strong and didn't lose it. I asked a question yesterday and she asked me if I knew what day it was. I wasn't supposed to ask her questions about it on Mother's Day. That just showed how selfish I was by not giving her a break on Mother's Day. I pointed out that it had been less than 2 days since she was on the phone with lover boy and this was an opportunity that we had with the kids gone. They had gone to their grandparents for a couple of hours. She's mad that I asked and got aggravated when she didn't answer on Mother's Day. I told her I wasn't angry about whatever the answer was going to be. I was angry that she isn't being open about it. Hiding anything at all will definitely not build any trust.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eli-Zor View Post
A bit of writing for her, she writes a letter of apology to your family, hers and the OM's admitting her deceit and commitment to you and your marriage.

High boundaries, this is not punishment this is trust , trust has to be earned.
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She'll never do those letters. She is too stubborn.
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