heartbroken1957

Gabriel, I too am far from lacking in the bedroom. Just stating a fact that stuplified me when my husband went looking for sex. He tryed to lure them in by saying "I haven't had sex in 10 yrs."
It's not the "sex" that they want. It's the thrill. I feel in your case, your wife actually was wondering "what if". That's all. He was her friend before you, and will always be a threat to you. She has to step up and be rid of him with no contact, and make the choice herself. Give her an ultimatum. State what you want, what you expect, set a time frame, then back away. Once she sees that you are strong in conviction, she must come to you and tell you what she will do to make it right. If not, then you might as well be talking to a brick wall.
If you truly believe there would have never been sex, Ok then you know her the best. But she was still confiding in him what she should have been telling you in order to fix her marriage. If not him it eventually would have been another or divorce court. She was not happy with the marriage.