Originally Posted by marriedwoman
Thank you =)
I just went for a drive to grab a coffee, and it hit me:
I'm so angry right now that he wants to go to MC now, because maybe this is his REAL wake up call..and that maybe he didn't care before?
BUT, I've been working on this for over a year!!!
...I don't think he has any idea how hard, and how much more work I'M going to have to put into this, since I've already detached to the point that I want him to move out, and for us to basically get a divorce.
I mean is that love on his end? He told me yesterday that he doesn't want to lose me...but shouldn't he have cared enough about my feelings, to not get me to this point?
I can understand your frustration. He should have cared enough, absolutely. However, you are only in control of what you bring to the relationship and if you truly want to try to re-make a life with your spouse then you are going to need to focus on the future and not the past. Easier said than done, of course, but putting the focus on re-connecting and not blaming is the only way to move forward. Otherwise you'll be stuck in the past. That's not to say there aren't problems to work through. Far from it. But if you put the problems aside temporarily
and come back to them when you have built up some goodwill between you it will be easier to deal with them. If you want to know how to do that, I highly recommend signing up for the free Marriage Fitness e-mail series (that is what turned my marriage around).
To answer your other question: it's never too late to rebuild. I've been to rock bottom and come back from it.
I guess you need to decide if you truly want to try again. Give it some serious introspective thought. If you want to rebuild then great, if you don't then make a clean break.
That's my advice. Hope it helps you.