Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Hurtful- Husband refuses sex with me. Too late to fix?

tranquility · 05-19-2011, 10:13 AM

Well, I'm not a guy, but I'm in the same boat only it's me who's said I'm done. My husband and I have had issues throughout our marriage ... he's very LD and we'd only have sex 4 - 5 times/year throughout our 28 year marriage, despite me bringing it up numerous times. He never had an answer as to why.

I just turned 50 in April and no-one believes I'm that old - so I really don't believe it's a physical attraction issue, though for many years I figured it HAD to be something wrong with me. Why else wouldn't a typical male want to have sex with a warm and willing wife?

We're in MC now ... have had 4 sessions and have our next one tomorrow ... and in the second one I told him that I don't even WANT sex anymore. I'm so angry and resentful over the past 28 years when it could've been so amazing between us that I don't care if he ever touches me again. I just CANNOT picture myself having sex with him anymore ... or for that matter with anyone else. And I'm angry that he's taken that away from me, since I won't leave my marriage.

So, yes, I am so chronically bitter and resentful that I will not get past it. I just don't want to ... and I expect to live the rest of my life without sex.

Maybe it's not too late for you and your husband though. You don't have quite as many years of anger and resentment built up as I do so your husband may still come around, especially if you can show him that you really are sorry and that things will be different FROM NOW ON. However, that feeling of betrayal from you getting pregnant may take awhile to go away. Best of luck.

05-19-2011, 10:13 AM	#2 (permalink)
tranquility Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern New York Posts: 51	Re: Hurtful- Husband refuses sex with me. Too late to fix? Well, I'm not a guy, but I'm in the same boat only it's me who's said I'm done. My husband and I have had issues throughout our marriage ... he's very LD and we'd only have sex 4 - 5 times/year throughout our 28 year marriage, despite me bringing it up numerous times. He never had an answer as to why. I just turned 50 in April and no-one believes I'm that old - so I really don't believe it's a physical attraction issue, though for many years I figured it HAD to be something wrong with me. Why else wouldn't a typical male want to have sex with a warm and willing wife? We're in MC now ... have had 4 sessions and have our next one tomorrow ... and in the second one I told him that I don't even WANT sex anymore. I'm so angry and resentful over the past 28 years when it could've been so amazing between us that I don't care if he ever touches me again. I just CANNOT picture myself having sex with him anymore ... or for that matter with anyone else. And I'm angry that he's taken that away from me, since I won't leave my marriage. So, yes, I am so chronically bitter and resentful that I will not get past it. I just don't want to ... and I expect to live the rest of my life without sex. Maybe it's not too late for you and your husband though. You don't have quite as many years of anger and resentment built up as I do so your husband may still come around, especially if you can show him that you really are sorry and that things will be different FROM NOW ON. However, that feeling of betrayal from you getting pregnant may take awhile to go away. Best of luck.