bonsai

Thanks for every tips and support. I'm committed to saving my marriage so I will try to stay right on track. Yes, I have dug a big hole for years including tricking him to having a baby which, at the time, I thought I could make him STAY. He stays, of course, but due to past love and present/future responsibility of our child. I realize my issues now, it's never been clearer and louder. We have been to the councelor during past 4 years so you can see that he is somewhat committed to make our relationship better too. It just, unfortunately, has not worked out.

We adore our couselor and like him so much but I can see now that we can't leave things to the couselor to fix, we need to admit our faults and fix it ourselves too.

I can see that his string has been stretched out max so I will do my very best to respect his resentment and not pressure him to forgive me sooner than he is willing to (which I know it could be hard because I've always been a perfectionist and control freak).

To Run like Dogs, I honestly thank you for pointing out that in most people the control issue cann't really be changed. Your comment could very well be true and that makes me want to make sure I need to fix it hard and make it last if I want my marriage and my man back.