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827Aug · 05-20-2011, 08:54 AM

The first thing you need to do is find out exactly what is going on with him and WHERE he is going. If you can afford a PI, they can easily get that information for you. You may want to enlist a friend's help or rent a car. Perhaps go to his work place just before his work day ends. You could then follow him to where he is staying and observe who else is there.

Another way to get more information is to do a "people search" on line. I've used Intelius before and had good results. If you pull a report using your husband's name, it will give you addresses he is known to use--and many times the names of other people known to use that address. That's how I discovered WHERE my husband was staying when he wasn't at home.

If there is an affair going on you really need to get evidence. Once you have that evidence, you can then disclose that evidence to family, friends, and anyone else who could have an impact on your husband. Also, you need to know if the person he is seeing is married. If the OW is married, you need to tell her husband.

You will find a lot of material on this site which addresses exactly how to end an affair. But, for now you need to gather proof. If an affair isn't the culprit of your failed marriage, then you clearly need to find other strategies. BTW, counseling is an excellent thing for you now.

05-20-2011, 08:54 AM	#8 (permalink)
827Aug Moderator Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Southern USA Posts: 3,989	Re: Do YOu Just Let It Run Its Course? The first thing you need to do is find out exactly what is going on with him and WHERE he is going. If you can afford a PI, they can easily get that information for you. You may want to enlist a friend's help or rent a car. Perhaps go to his work place just before his work day ends. You could then follow him to where he is staying and observe who else is there. Another way to get more information is to do a "people search" on line. I've used Intelius before and had good results. If you pull a report using your husband's name, it will give you addresses he is known to use--and many times the names of other people known to use that address. That's how I discovered WHERE my husband was staying when he wasn't at home. If there is an affair going on you really need to get evidence. Once you have that evidence, you can then disclose that evidence to family, friends, and anyone else who could have an impact on your husband. Also, you need to know if the person he is seeing is married. If the OW is married, you need to tell her husband. You will find a lot of material on this site which addresses exactly how to end an affair. But, for now you need to gather proof. If an affair isn't the culprit of your failed marriage, then you clearly need to find other strategies. BTW, counseling is an excellent thing for you now.