Originally Posted by Laurae1967
I would just like to add: you are again controlling the situation through your tactics to get him to sleep with you. You already know what the serious issues are. Show him you care about HIM and HIS needs by getthing therapy so you can address YOUR issues. Stop wasting your time playing games to get him to sleep with you. That is just showing him you are only thinking about YOUR needs yet again.
How can a person control someone else by not controlling them? The OP has asked for help in backing off of her controlling tactics. I agree that individual counseling may help. But a therapy bill isn't going to make the husband feel any better. The OP's actions toward her husband, specifically more loving, demure, and less controlling actions are how she will prove that she has turned a new leaf. She should get therapy only if it helps facilitate that change.
The husband will likely be cynical at first and expect that a game is being played. And he should. But the longer the OP can keep it up, the more likely she will permanently change her marriage and the more likely her husband will accept the change as genuine.