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What makes a 35+ woman attractive to you?

43K views 263 replies 86 participants last post by  jld 
#1 ·
This is somewhat of a stolen thread topic concept from southbound. What makes a 35+ woman attractive to you guys? Also, what would make you have the courage to approach that woman and strike up a conversation if you noticed there was no wedding ring? Physical and personality traits are acceptable answers on this one. There truly are no wrong answers.

However, try to refrain from the whole “She needs to look like Carrie Underwood, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel or Megan Fox,” because they are SOOOO not even close to 35 years old. I’m certain you guys would hate to have the ladies play the whole “He needs to look like Matthew McConaughey,” comparison card.

Have at it guys!
 
#52 ·
A plesent attitude,smiles alot,keeps fit as best as she can,sexually uninhibited, fun to be with,not negative.

I don't mind a few extra pounds as long as she isn't sloppy

a woman who trusts a man judgment and dosen't try to change me.
 
#53 ·
Friendly. Somewhat reserved. Flirty (in a classy way). I adore making eye contact with a woman 35+ in the grocery store or somewhere and we both smile and say hi as we pass. More than that, if I get a whiff of her perfume it just melts me. I really don't care if she's "good looking" or whatever. In fact, I tend to be drawn towards the underdog so to speak. The one who doesn't know how cute she is and therefore, doesn't have an attitude. Oh, and touch. Lightly puts her hand on my shoulder while we share a laugh about something. Love that. I feel like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman. I just love, love, love women.

This is all first impression of course. Which I think was the op's question. All the other traits everyone listed will be discovered later.
 
#56 ·
Through a fluke, I once found myself as the single holdout on a list of designated approvers to pay a two million dollar payment to a supplier. I'll admit, I was the low man on the list. Awkward. The supplier wasn't getting the quality part right, and new federal engine emissions were just around the corner. It was make or break time. The supplier's parent company sent four VPs in their private jet to take me to the site installation to prove that they could meet the final date for the last payment. I only mention this because it became very obvious that they did their homework on me. It was really creepy. They only talked about their kids and how important their families were, but it was pretty obvious that they didn't have a clue. The one sitting closest to me offered to show his family pictures in his wallet. He was about 48, but the trophy wife was 25. When he showed his kids, they were with his first wife. Simply put, her real beauty was stunning. Every picture showed a beaming smile, and poise, even though she was wearing a baloon hat in one. The guy was an idiot. Got the impression that the current wife was happy as long as the checkbook stayed open.

I'll admit I'm like most other guys. When an attractive woman passes by, if the high heels make the rear end take a life of its own, its hard not to notice. But that symmetry of motion doesn't have an end date for a number of years. Then again, I'm married, so its not like I ever notice. Just thinking conceptually.
 
#58 ·
The key to success for a woman 35+ is to keep a young mind. No one can stop the effects of looking older, but it's that inner glow of youthfulness that's important. That's what will shine through.

Continue doing all the things that drew men to you in your early twenties. Stay in shape, dress sexy, be cute, outgoing, fun, adventurous and spontaneous. This is especially important if you're bringing kids into the picture.
 
#59 ·
I haven't read any of the other responses yet. I am interested to see how similar they are.

A lot of people believe that women can no longer be physically attractive once they past a certain age - 30, 35, 40, whatever. The belief seems to be that the only way she can remain physically attractive is by having excessive plastic surgery, and even then, she will never look as nice as a woman in her 20s.

Actually, this isn't true at all. I have seen women in their 50s who I considered to be hot. The oldest one (that I knew the age of) was 53, and she was quite a babe. It's true, her face was not as smooth and youthful as it might have once been, but besides all of that, she had it all going on.


The basic things which are physically attractuve are not much different than for younger women:

- Don't cut your hair like a man
- Have big boobs and a nice butt
- Have a flat stomach
- Nice, toned legs are good too

There are also a few things which a lot of women do which I feel are unnecessary:

- Tanning
- Dying hair blonde - Dark hair is a lot more attractive!

As as the non physical traits...Well, those are the same as for younger women, too.

- A kind spirited and graceful personality. By kind spirited, I mean she can challenge you or disagree with you without being insulting or sarcastic. She makes you feel respected and wanted throughout daily life. By graceful, I mean that she isn't a wild party girl who gets drunk a lot and dances on the bar, doesn't throw things, yell or scream, etc.

- Sex! It is a wierd thing with men, but it's true. Having sex with a woman makes me feel attracted to her. I feel strongly in love with her during and after sex, and this feeling resonates through the next day, week, whatever. Yes, people have sex because they are attracted to eachother, but it also creates attraction.
 
#62 ·
Haven't read the comments above.

Recently went to a concert - kind of "Pop-country" if you will - with my wife and my in-laws. Surrounded by a lot of younger girls.

But there were two women - over 35 who caught my attention more than the younger girls.

One woman was just very social and outgoing. Her personality was kind of "bubbly." She seemed to be talking to everyone around her. She and her husband were both drinking beer - holding hands - and were both dancing together when the concert started. Yes - she was very "pretty" and a good dancer - but a lot of it was personality.

Then there were two women with their older daughters (kids were maybe 13 or so) sitting right in front of us. One of the daughters kept taking pictures of her mom. Her Mom was probably a few years older than 35 - and was again very "pretty." But I was just AMAZED at seeing a 13 year old daughter who genuinely seemed to be having a good time with her mother at a concert. Hard to explain - but my wife that night was dressed in a sparkly sliver shirt - showing cleavage - kept taking her own picture. To me - it felt like I was out with a 25 year old - and I don't mean that in a good way. And although the woman in front of us was dressed modestly, I couldn't help but "notice" her - almost like looking at her through her own daughter's eyes. I KNOW how my 11 year old would have reacted to my wife's "LOOK AT ME" behavior and appearance.

Not sure if this has made much sense. But - to try and sum up - the attaction was only partially physical. And secondly - a lot of it was me being attracted to something I think I'm missing. One woman - drawing attention to herself by just being bubbly. The other - looking like Mom of the Year. Contrasted by my wife - a 39 year old trying to look 10 years younger - taking her OWN picture to put on Facebook to SHOW everyone how much fun she's having.
 
#63 ·
The first thing I always notice abou a woman, any woman, is her hair. And I am partial to longer, thick hair worn down.

Femininity oozes in everything she does.

Smiles easily, and for real - no falseness. With good teeth.

Poise and self-pride/confidence, in how she walks, talks, and acts even when no one's looking.

Eye contact when talking, when listening, and when there's silence.

Not sloppy - in dress, in relative physical fitness.

Can talk with her eyes... especially to a man, to tell you to 'go away', or 'come hither'.

All the body parts just 'work' together.

Sure boobs matter, but they need to fit the body they're on. An appropriate bra if there's 'sag'... or even if there's not. You want ot see 'firmness'. Height/weight proprtionate; doesn't need to be a workout maven. A flat stomach does amazing things to a woman's entire body...

Confident enough to 'show off what she's got', without flaunting any of it.

Can wear a bathing suit in public without embarassment.

Looks great even with wet hair and no makeup.

Unafraid and uninhibited sexually, without being trashy.

Some cleavage & good shoes help. I hate 'flats'; love heels, boots.


Oh - and doesn't cheat on her man... and makes no ones about it...... I started that comment tongue-in-cheek, but there IS something very attractive that can ooze from a woman that lets it be known she is WITH her man and quietly, confidently adores him.
 
#67 ·
Financial independence. Leads a healthy and active lifestyle, maybe runs, plays tennis, golf. Into healthy food, grows her own fruit and veg, maybe has some chickens!!! Good cook, well looked after body, well within her BMI. Adventurous and likes the outdoor life. Not afraid of confrontation and telling like it is in a mature way. Into DIY and house renovation.
 
#68 ·
Teeter-tottering between feelings of confidence and gloom after reading a lot of great posts on this thread. The confidence part is how I have been repeatedly told I possess so many of these traits. Not just by males either. (And not by females in a weird way. Well, at least I'm hoping not) . The gloomy part is, I have so dated the wrong men who do not recognize these traits. Or ...... if they do realize it, they get scared and leg bail. UGH!!!
 
#69 ·
The thing is - the hard boiled truth of it - is that we ALL get older. We ALL get wrinkles, gray hair, and body parts that start to sag that were once up and at attention. It's simply a fact of life. Men age just the same as women age. Age is nondiscriminatory. It doesn't care if you're male, female; handsome, beautiful, ugly; white, black, purple; rich or poor. Young men and women who feel their youth and beauty is their power will shortly learn that those years are short and are over in the blink of an eye. If a person does not take the time to cultivate other attractive qualities, they're going to be left with a pretty empty bag down the road. I personally find people - men and women - of all ages attractive. A lot of one's beauty comes from within. Confidence also helps a lot.
 
#85 ·
just KNEW you would be here. You did say that a woman over 40 is limited. Boobs aren't forever either. Ever see gravity? Sure, they are still there but after a while, they look like tube socks. Not saying mine do btw.
Okay, so a man needs a younger woman, got it. So you are saying that a 40 something year old man needs a 26 year old for what? Having kids? I don't know of any 40 something year old man who wants to have more kids. Let's just call it like it is. An old man who likes young and strange.
I only posted here because I was goaded into it off-list. APparently, I have a reputation for being superficial. Or honest. Or both.

No, a man in his 40's is done having kids but the primal urge is there and that's what mate selection is based upon.

As far as gravity, that's why you want big, floppy boobs. . .they can keep on flopping into a woman's late 50's and 60's. After a long day, your wife can put them in your face as she sits on your lap. All your troubles melt away. . .

C'mon. . .this isn't that hard, people. Conversation, flirty way about her, intelligent. . .what is this here? I leave for a few months and the Men's
Clubhouse turns into a Metrosexual Coffeehouse.

I'm going to have to ask the Elder Sergeant-at-Arms to escort the Ladies out here.

:)
 
#89 ·
As far as gravity, that's why you want big, floppy boobs. . .they can keep on flopping into a woman's late 50's and 60's. After a long day, your wife can put them in your face as she sits on your lap. All your troubles melt away. . .

:)
:rofl::rofl:

All of these likes and dislikes are giving me some pretty hilarious visuals. LOL!!!!! I can’t stop laughing.
 
#97 ·
Self confident, makes an effort to take care of herself, dresses well, but not like a teen, light makeup (no "BONDO" for wrinkles, please), smiles a lot, doesn't take herself too seriously, honest, direct, sensitive, riveting eyes, and comfortable with her age, body, and sexuality.

Oh yeah, wrinkles around eyes and mouth from too much smiling and laughter are hot.
 
#99 ·
JB, I've been known to give myself nightmares from wandering through there. The people of Walmart, that is...

I'm very happy to see many of the other attributes of my GF in here! Of course, she's accused me of having googles on for her... Like beer-goggles, but just for her. I could easily start another list. :). Sometimes, I think I'm heading into deep water.

C
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