Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous
Oh my, this is a tough one -simply because you talked about this BEFORE, you was on his side BEFORE, and now you want to turn the the tables, change the rules. I always say it is "a women's prerogative to change her mind", especially on this issue of Motherhood. Women tend to do this as her fertility ticks. Had you known this then, the relationship might have never gotten off the ground.
These are huge "deal breakers" when dating, disagreeing on children and a lifestyle to live.
But I want you to know , I completely and totally sympathize with what you are saying. I struggled with infertility for a time and NO force was more powerful in my being than wanting children (I even had ONE but I wanted MORE), I understand the pure LUST of wanting to be a mother of "children". I don't believe MEN "get this". And him having his own children, he is even further from wanting to procreate, his desires have been filled -even when he didn't want them! He is so far on the other spectrum in this, you may NEVER see eye to eye, no matter how much talking, crying, pleading you do.
I am sure your husband feels --if he lets you in, hears your cries for a baby, he fears what to do with those cries, as his mind has been made up and firm from when you married.
I really do not have any advice for you -other than - what you are feeling could be a deal breaker for this relationship.
HOW BADLY do you want a child? Will you grow to regret this someday if you stay with your husband and only have 2 step children? Will you RESENT him for not getting re-cut & allowing you a chance to be a mother?
There is adopting, donor sperm, foster children, getting involved with children (church?)- just throwing things out there to fill that "void", that yearning you have. Maybe you have neices & nephews you could spend extra time with, take them to the zoo, chucky cheeses, have them spend the night. Personally I wanted MY OWN (I have no siblings so no neices & nephews) , so I understand if these do not hold any allure for you.
Only you can answer How much this yearning means to you, and where you feel you need to go. I would never call you crazy & needing a doctor. I do feel he is being Cruel in his handling of these "desires of your heart", if nothing else.
May you find peace and direction in this.