Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

devanescence · 01-07-2009, 01:56 PM

Im looking for advice, because my situation is a unique one it seems like. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 years now, and we did meet younger at 20 years old. But we are both more mature for our age than most who are 25. I knew when I met him he was different, and I knew that after a year or two, he was the man I was going to marry. I never pushed him, or bugged him about it. I just knew, when he was ready he'd ask, no question about it. We are approaching 5 years, Im done with college (twice), he's on to his masters but has been working full time in a very successfull job for a few years. He owns his own house, and is VERY good with money and like I said, he is very mature for his age, as am I. After attending what seemed like a endless list of weddings to couples who were the same age or younger and had only been together from anywhere to months to 2 years getting married, I started thinking...Is he EVER going to ask. He talks about our wedding on occasion, what he wants, where it would be, etc. But I finally decided to talk to him about it. He says he's just not ready. He doesnt feel like he's "old" enough, and he said his life isnt where he wants it to be before he gets married. I feel like these are just excuses and I worry that he won't ever ask. I told him Im ready, and after 5 years I'd except him to at least have an idea of when he'd want to get married, but he doesnt. Now Im starting to stress that the love of my life, my best friend is going to drag our relationship out for another 5 years and STILL not know. Im not a pushy person, and I want him to really think about it and be sure what he wants...but I feel kind of lost. What should I do? Any advice?

01-07-2009, 01:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
devanescence Registered User Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 5	5 yrs...and he's still not ready... Im looking for advice, because my situation is a unique one it seems like. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 years now, and we did meet younger at 20 years old. But we are both more mature for our age than most who are 25. I knew when I met him he was different, and I knew that after a year or two, he was the man I was going to marry. I never pushed him, or bugged him about it. I just knew, when he was ready he'd ask, no question about it. We are approaching 5 years, Im done with college (twice), he's on to his masters but has been working full time in a very successfull job for a few years. He owns his own house, and is VERY good with money and like I said, he is very mature for his age, as am I. After attending what seemed like a endless list of weddings to couples who were the same age or younger and had only been together from anywhere to months to 2 years getting married, I started thinking...Is he EVER going to ask. He talks about our wedding on occasion, what he wants, where it would be, etc. But I finally decided to talk to him about it. He says he's just not ready. He doesnt feel like he's "old" enough, and he said his life isnt where he wants it to be before he gets married. I feel like these are just excuses and I worry that he won't ever ask. I told him Im ready, and after 5 years I'd except him to at least have an idea of when he'd want to get married, but he doesnt. Now Im starting to stress that the love of my life, my best friend is going to drag our relationship out for another 5 years and STILL not know. Im not a pushy person, and I want him to really think about it and be sure what he wants...but I feel kind of lost. What should I do? Any advice?