AFEH

FrenchMan, of course every situation is uniquely different. Think about this one for a bit. Doing the 180 is exceptionally different to saying “I am divorcing you because you had an affair”. So of course the husband doing the 180 wants his wife “back”. Of coursed he does otherwise he would initiate divorce proceedings.

But surely the man’s wife “must want back” at least as much as her husband wants her back. Otherwise the marriage simply isn’t going to work.

Sounds like in your own ways you’re both scared to get back together. I think a marriage retreat is a superb idea. Especially one that teaches forgiveness and the personal benefits of it because that's a good place to start with reconciliation.