| | Re: women - how many of you intentionally withold??
Marriage is a form of compulsion. As unromantic as it sounds, two people agree before witnesses to produce specific performances in exchange for the alleged benefits of marriage. Again, if married folks are free to do or not do, give or not give, according to the whims of their emotions, what's the purpose of having a marriage ceremony? What differentiates married couples from those who shack up? Your sexual performance is the exclusive right of your married partner. That's why adultary is grounds for divorce and that's why marriages aren't legally valid unless consummated. Anything that binds is a form of constraint, however loving. If marriage wasn't binding, one wouldn't need to jump through legal hoops to get out of one.
People withhold sex from their married partners only when and where they can get away with it. Don't fulfill your obligations at work, you get fired. Don't feed your kids, you go to jail for neglect or lose parental rights. Don't put gas in your car, you end up walking. Refuse to have sex with your husband or wife for years and (in this country) absolutely, positively nothing bad happens. Your partner just suffers. If they get tired of the abusive BS and leave, they lose half their property and almost all contact with their kids. Steal a 10.00 CD from Walmart and go to jail, rob another human being of the most basic of human needs and nothing happens. The law requires a higher level of compassion from dog owners than from husbands or wives. I suppose the law figures all adults have a remedy through divorce court, but losing everything you own and contact with your kids because you happened to marry an abuser doesn't seem like much of a remedy to me. The state even recognizes the need for convicted felons to have conjugal visits. Our sexuality is the most basic part of our identity. How absolutely friggin dare anyone for any reason force another human being into a sexless condition which would be unnatural for even birds and squirrels! In my mind, if you're married and positively refuse sex to your spouse (for an extended period) you've lost all right to complain or to seek damages over an adultary or for financial non-support.