| | Re: not attracted to my husband
Wow, so I'm not alone. This is the second marriage for both my husband and me, and we've almost made it to 18 years. Both our first marriages were short and horrible, but his produced three wonderful boys. Sadly, the eldest two got into drugs and the eldest died of an overdose on New Year's Eve Day 2005.
In the beginning (he'd been divorced 4 years, me one), I thought he was SMOKING. In fact, a lot of days I still DO, except he has packed on 25 extra pounds I'd love to see gone. He was never picky about my body but thought I had a great ass. All this is a moot point because I believe that the lack of sexual intercourse since the birth of our only child, now 15, and the loss of my job (I'm now on disabilty for a severe bipolar disorder), AND now a new battle: anorexia, have erased any sexual feelings he might have had for me. We women ALWAYS underestimate how thin we think they want us. I am currently anywhere between 103-107 at 5'4", which with untoned muscles, looks bad at 55 years of age.
I'm rambling, I'm sorry, but if any of your husbands is willing to go to marital counseling, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS! Mine outright refuses. He had a bad experience going with the first wife, I guess, and let's face it, he's just plain stubborn. He has a very mild non-chronic heart arrhythmia problem, but after getting the OK from two cardiologists, he STILL makes up excuses not to take Viagra or Cialis. We never were any great shakes in bed, and he never could kiss. I tried to show him how, but he just is terrible. I think part of my problem is that I had so many partners in my 20s, didn't get married for the first time till I was 28, and have two many GREAT lovers to compare him to. He is loyal, loving, intelligent and funny, but sex? And you can bet this girl has "lusted in her heart" more a zillion times by now. I feel so guilty about it, too!