Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Men: Will you please translate this for me?
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Old 06-03-2011, 11:06 AM   #25 (permalink)
Jellybeans
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by VeryHurt View Post
What does this really mean:
My husband of 28 years does not want "any more responsibilities", doesn't want to "answer to anyone anymore"
Doesn't want me for his "wife" anymore but he wants to stay "friends."

Wants to "divorce" me and then start over and "date me."

Says that he still cares about me and loves me but he doesn't want the 24/7/52 wife.
It means he wants to keep you waiting on him while he does whatever the hell he wants. He's selfish. But you already know that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by VeryHurt View Post
He keeps saying the same thing: He does not want any responsibilities. He prefers to be a loner. He wants to be able to eat when he wants, sleeps when he wants etc...We have lived apart since October and see each other on weekends. I have been pressuring him to get back together "full time" but he is so used to his carefree freedom lifestyle and is not sure if he wants to have a full time wife again.[/COLOR]
And look where that has gotten you? Why are you even listening to him anymore? He doesn't want to be married to you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by VeryHurt View Post
[B]He doesn't want me. Says he doesn't love me anymore. Says that he is not attracted to me. Hasn't touched me in months. Refuses BJ's. Has ED. Doesn't want a "wife" , he wants a "friend" Doesn't want to discuss his feelings. Would like to Divorce and then date. I've been dealing with living in limbo for two years.
Read that last part over and over again. Your words. His words.

You're chasing rabbit holes. TWO YEARS in limbo? Let him go! Don't be That Woman. That Woman who clings despite being disrespected over and over again, That Woman who can't take a hint and keeps coming back for more. That Woman who gladly offers herself to be walked on over and over again.

It's painfully clear he wants to do his own thing when he wants, how he wants but likes having you as an ego boost cause, hello, you're his doormat for him to wipe his feet on. You always have been. You have demonstrated to him over and over again, that no matter what he does, there are no consequences. That he can tell you that he doesn't want you or love you and yet you'll still offer him a bl*w job. WHY are you offering him sex of any form????!!!!!

He enjoys it. Having you there, his constant lap dog. He gets off on it. He's giving you the "Let's break up but we can still be pals and maybe we can date some day" consolation line that every d*uchebag on the planet does. And you're eating it up. Why? What has he actually done to make you think he wants to be with you at all?

Cut this a$$hole loose. You're doing yourself more harm than good. Get into counselling. Find out why you have stuck around throughout all of this despite him showing you he doesn't want anything with you.

He's a wayward. Nothing he does or says will make sense.

File for divorce and be done. NO MORE talking to him. If he brings up "dating" again, tell him very matter-of-factly "I think you've lost your mind. Divorce terminates a relationship, doesn't start a dating process. I am done with our relationship." CLICK. HANG UP.

Last edited by Jellybeans; 06-03-2011 at 11:47 AM.
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