Originally Posted by Kauaiguy
I think it's clear at this point that you only have three choices: Stay and endure the abusiveness, fight for your rights or try and find a way to bail out.
If I were you, I would start planning and preparing to make it on my own if and when the day comes that I would have too.
But keep in mind that if and when this ends in a divorce, you will NOT be without funds.
If you and hubby owns a home, that would be subject for sale and a 50/50 split. Also with young children, he will be required to provide child support and maybe even alimony.
As for reasons for the divorce? Document the abusiveness as well as his extra marital affairs which you can bring to your lawyer as evidence.
As far as traumatizing the kids? Kids are not dumb, when there's constant fights in the house, they feel it too. How long do you want to subject them to this? Indefinitely? Or is it better to have a talk with them and explain the situation? How long do you want to walk on eggshells? Your choice!
Once you're really fed up with everything, you can sit down with your husband and threaten to go through with a divorce if he doesn't make any changes. Make it clear that it takes TWO to make or break a marriage and in-spite of what he believes, HE IS NOT WITHOUT FAULT.
Make him aware of what he stands to lose! Sometimes, that will awaken a stubborn jerk (for lack of proper words). He not only stands to lose a wife but probably most of what he's worked for, and that's a lot!
You need to give him a timeline and stick to your guns!
Like I said you can stay and endure the abusiveness or you can fight and try to stand on your own.
FYI: It would make it easier to read if you didn't run all your sentences together. Break them up into a few paragraphs. I rarely read anything that I see written this way.
thank you kauaiguy, some wise advice.
he's superworried about his bussiness and house $$ so i think he's gonna push for the divorce, he's so paranoid to begin with and is always ranting about how the married man gets screwed and the lazy, spoiled wives get everything the husbands have worked so hard for. i'm sure that's true in many cases, but not this one.
you're so right about the icky running paragraphs, i'll fix that. thank you