tdtanner

thanks for all the advice everyone honestly i hope it is just stress makeing him this way, but honestly Im not sure he just went on house arrest and he's been actin this way for a few months well 4months and we've only been married 6 1/2 months so thats why Im so worried, I feel like he doesnt even want to be around me at times, when I kiss him or hug him he doesnt pull away but he does sigh asif Im annoying him, and he's so critical at times, and he jokes around with me all the time, but none of it is funny most of it hurts my feelings, but than he gets pissed when I tell him he's upset me. I just wish there were something i could do to get back on track like we were, when he would hug me and compliment me and actuallii made me feel wanted, because the last 4months Ive felt very unwanted and unloved and very ignored and invisable and he doesnt care about anything Ive said. Oh and the note thing, Ive tried it... he's one of those guys when I try to do sweet things like that, he finds it corney and laughs about it, here lately he makes me feel like an idiot. Im not sure why I feel this way, but he's ignored me and laughed and ignored me to the point that I feel ignorant, childish and stupid most of the time thats why I shy away from initiating anything with him anymore and when he asks whats wrong i always say nothing because i already know that he doesnt wanna hear it and will make me feel dumb for bringing up my feelings. I know it sounds like i should just give up to some people, but I cant for 2main reasons 1, I love him and want more than anything for this to work and be like it was and #2 he just started his house arrest and its a 12month sentence so I do have to live with him until february1st of next year (2010) so I need to find a way to make this work otherwise Im going to go nuts cause I live in a house with all children under the age of 5 and him and Im lonely and yeah I understand that he might get lonely to thats may be why he's slowly moving his brother in after me telling him no he cant live here, but how can I be expected to respect and understand his needs when he laughs and ignores and gets angry over mine? Its like lately I feel like the only reason he is actually still with me is b/c he needs a stable place to serve his house arrest at and he knows that Im his only sense of stability cause his mom kicks him out to often, I dont feel like he actually wants to be with me at all and this marriage is just more convience for him than emotion and it hurts, I hurt. well put it this way, I wrecked and tore the van up pretty good tonight, I come in and tell him about the wreck and he jumps to check out the van and than gets an attitude and tells me he's pissed and starts *****ing at me, it really upset me that here I am pregnant just ina wreck and doesnt check on me or ask how Im doin and if Im ok, he just yells at me instead for wrecking my mothers van...... it's just simple things like this incident that make me feel like he doesnt care about me and that Im nothing important in his life and leaves me crying myself to sleep alone because now its to the point that I cant even get his to hold me at night he now faces the other direction and gets annoyed if I hold him or ask him to hold me. I dont know anymore, Im lonely I know that much and Im upset and right now still a little shaken over the wreck cause I still havent felt the baby move and it's been 6hours, but I see the doctor in 5hours so I'll find out then if everythings ok, listen, I know that I sound winey I know and Im sorry,but I figure thats what this site os for, its the one place I can wine and ***** about my marriage it it be accepable, lol.. noone around me really cares to talk to me about it or listen so Im here to talk to you all, complete strangers that might be able to comfort me in some way and maybe even give some helpful adive. Again though, thanks for all the above mentioned advice and input. I just pray things will get better soon. K, thanx and bye.......

-tdtanner =/