Married Man Sex Life
Just another resource.
Your story sounds very typical.
Remember that "controlling" may be just that you exist as her husband. Your very presence puts pressure on her behavior.
She may have not asked you if she could do something that she wants to do yet, but assumes you will not like it. I won't speculate further here.
If she asks for space ... watch out.
The I Love You But Not In Love With You is very common.
That does not mean that it is not a HUGE RED FLAG.
The resources on this site will help you. On the link I posted search for dopamine and oxytocin.