Originally Posted by swedish
Whether it's counseling, posting here or keeping your mind at peace with Beth's words and actions, I think it all falls under doing the right thing...IMO that's what this place is for...to hopefully help in whatever way possible for you to get through this and the more you hear from various places you are able to soak in and sort out and take action to keep yourself moving forward.
yes, i agree. i think circumstances are forcing my mind toward doing something i feel is totally destructive to the potential repair of the relationship. and i think it's because i see some light at the end of the tunnel. that light has teased me for days and now, i want to see it clearer.
my mind is at this point: what the heck do i have to lose? i am strongly considering forcing beth's hand, making her make a decision. scary, because i don't have a "horse in the race." but she has
said out loud things that make my daughter believe we are going to live together again.
so i'm considering putting pressure on. make her make a decision. i'm getting tired of trying
, you know what i mean? if she didn't want me around, she would have done something about it, right?
so i keep hopping back to you post where you said:
I had a pretty sizable wall of my own and MT is right on target here. She is the only one that will tear down the wall and for me it came down to 2 things:
*knowing not doing so would mean the end of my marriage
*feeling loved and safe enough that my husband wouldn't let me down
Which ever way things turn out with the test and the tough decisions that may follow, be really sure within yourself that you can forgive and move forward with your marriage before you put demands of her on the table. If you decide to stay, you will need to do it together...the 'ok you screwed up bad so now I'm calling all the shots' approach will only reinforce whatever feelings she was having back in December...that she is on her own, unsupported, alone.
i want to make beth feel like the marriage would end if she doesn't come around to my thinking. bad? good?