imnapp

Hi,

I have been married for a few years. I married her because she really loves me, but not the other way round.Since the 2nd year, she has been complaining of me not being as loving. There were twice she wanted to walk out but I stopped her and told her I will change. But I didn't.

There are a few reasons I still couldn't be as loving ...The main reason being I do not love her, and I thought that I can live with someone who is in love with me for the rest of my life.. but I was wrong.

She has broken ties with her parents and that is one of the reason I married her and stopped her from leave as she has no one to turn to, no place to go.

Responsibility is another reason and it sure make me a very very unhappy man.

Recently she has been asking me why I don't like to hold her hands or kiss her etc... I really cannot bear to tell her that the reason is that I do not love her. It will surely hurt her very much. She brought up the subject of divorce (with tears) as she is really not happy at all. As she want a husband that will showered her with love. Sometimes I really want to try to hold her hands or kiss her, but I always could not do it....

So it seems that the logic thing to do is to divorce, but I will not be able to get over my conscious as its my fault that lead to a divorce. That I have failed her as a husband. That I did not bring joy and happiness to her after she said 'I do'
The worst is who she is going to turn to if we divorce, she will be at her lowest, her lowest point in life....really afraid she cannot take care of herself....

Ultimately I the decision still lies on me..... sometimes I really hope she has found someone really love her and she leave me for some one better... I wish she who love me and did not get in return may she found someone she love who also really love her...My New Year wish... may it come true.